I don’t want to cheat, but I lose interest in my relationships quickly
DEAR ABBY: I am a woman in my late 30s. I have had a few failed relationships and a marriage that ended in divorce. At one point, I juggled three lovers at a time. I like being in a committed relationship, but I have yet to be faithful to any partner I have ever dated.
In my teens, I was raped by an 18-year-old guy and molested by a man who was in his 40s. I received counseling and therapy starting in my late 20s. I love the thrill of meeting someone new and learning what they want for a little while. I mimic and mirror their emotions and make them fall in love. Then I get bored and move on to the challenge of conquering the next man’s heart.
I don’t want to continue being a cheater, but I lose interest in my lovers quickly. I crave the thrill of the chase. How can I learn to be faithful and not be so fickle in love? — UNFAITHFUL IN THE SOUTH
DEAR UNFAITHFUL: Are you still working with a therapist? If the answer is no, find another one and work out the answer to that question. Self-help groups can also help people recover from sex and love addictions. In your case, it might make sense for you to do both.
DEAR ABBY: I need to address a family problem that has arisen due to the engagement of my 45-year-old son. We have been estranged since his mother passed away 15 years ago, and we have had no contact since then. He is being married for the first time.
There’s some conjecture about whether I will be invited to the wedding. “Save the date” notices have gone out via Facebook, and I have been asked by some guests if I received one. Of course I haven’t. I feel the current state of our relationship states the obvious, and I, as the senior adult, have accepted his silence. I intend to send a card wishing him well, but I feel that’s all I should do. Your advice is wanted. — GROOM’S FATHER IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR GROOM’S FATHER: I wish you had mentioned what caused the estrangement from your son after his mother’s death. However, I see nothing wrong with sending him a congratulatory card under the circumstances. If you do, I hope it is a first step in healing the breach between you.
DEAR ABBY: I have a real problem with my cousin and her husband. I have two sons, 13 and 14, and both are on the autism spectrum. I home school, so we live on their disability. We also receive food stamps. My cousin and her husband live in the same town and stop by unannounced, but only at dinnertime after we’ve gotten our food stamps.
I told them this has to stop. Our food stamps barely cover us for a month, honestly. They told me I was rude and they keep coming! What else can I do to get them to stop, besides yell at them? — TAKING CARE OF MY OWN
DEAR TAKING CARE: Don’t yell. Yelling would be rude. When they drop by, do not invite them in. Admit them only if they have brought food with them. Once you quit feeding them, those freeloaders will soon disappear. Trust me on that.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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